
Who does resolutions anymore? We are all sophisticated and smart enough to know we cannot be fooled. Not again. (If you’ve ever purchased a 12-month gym membership, you know what I’m talking about.) We’re wise to our own ways.
Just trust me for a moment and I’ll show you that resolutions can actually work. This process can be enjoyable; it can be painless and if you follow these simple steps you’ll soon be pushing your credit card over the counter at another fitness centre.
Here are the steps I’ve followed since I was 19 and they’ve always worked pretty well for me.
Step 1
Start nice. Rather than jumping right into it and beating yourself up about that tubby waistline of yours, we’re going to come at this from a different direction entirely. Let’s start with a fond look back over the past year. Ask yourself some nice questions. Has this been a good year? What was the best thing about this year? What am I so glad I did? Is it kind of surprising how much I was able to do in just one year?
Starting smooth like this is the most important step in the whole process. You’ve worked hard this year. You deserve a little appreciative self-talk. This will also remind us how good our lives really are, which makes us happy. And, it’s giving us valuable insight into what makes a good year, for us.
If this hasn’t been the best year, think of the best times you’ve had in your life in general.

Step 2
While your brain is in this happy place, notice what you’re really happy about. What kinds of thing do you really appreciate? Again, what is a good year for you?
If it helps, a good year for me involves somehow growing closer to my family and friends. It involves learning and sharing meaning, and trying to be generous –to build my community. This is how I think of a good year.
Step 3
If you haven’t already written something down, now’s the time. Instead of writing a big to do list, try writing down a couple of tips for how to live a good year. Some lessons learned.
Daphne at Joyful Days has taken this a step further and written her own personal creed: Think deeply. Speak gently. Love much. Laugh a lot. Work hard. Give freely. And be kind.
Gretchen at the Happiness Project has written down her personal commandments: Be Gretchen. Let it go. Act the way I want to feel. Do it now. Be polite and be fair. Enjoy the process. Spend out (by which she means to stop hoarding and to ‘trust in abundance’). Identify the problem. Lighten up. Do what ought to be done. No calculation. There is only love.
My creed is hidden in Step Two.
Step 4
If this isn’t enough for you and you want to write some REAL resolutions, then now is the time for that. Go ahead and write them.
My advice, as always, is: “Be good to yourself” Is, what you writing down on paper, what you REALLY want to do, or just what you think you will want to HAVE DONE. Make your gains as painless as possible.
Step 5
Have you forgotten something? Briefly think through the major areas of your life: happiness, health, finances, relationships and lifestyle. Are there any corrections you should make? (I.e. should you start saving for retirement?)
And there you have it.
Step 6 (read only in case of failure):
If you’re back to your naughty ways again by February, don’t worry too much. (I know this doesn’t apply to you, but it might help the other guy reading this. Anyway, I told you only to read this part in case of failure). There is a reason we do this every year.
If you’ve done Steps 1 to 5 and you’re sure your goals and/or creed are right for you, then yours is a motivation problem. Step 6 is here to help.
Lack of motivation means either you don’t have a clear picture of what you want or you don’t have a clear picture of the consequences of failure. We’ll fix this with two more activities:
Positive motivation:
Develop a clear picture of the better-future, when you’ve reached your goal. You’re published author and you can hand out your own book as a Christmas present next year, looking justifiable proud of what a genius you are.
Negative motivation:
Now focus on the worse-future if you don’t meet your goal. You feel like a complete failure, in writing as in everything. You are not the person you thought you were after all. You are unworthy of love. This is manipulative, but it’s okay because you are the one manipulating yourself. You are only doing this to help.
Now you should understand why your resolutions are important and be well on your way to losing that big tum of yours.
Happy New Year!