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Life

I am by day a mild-mannered Econ­o­mist, qui­etly cor­rect­ing stu­dents’ sup­ply and demand dia­grams, dis­cussing the long-term profit pos­si­bil­i­ties in oli­gop­o­lies. But by night, I get to pur­sue my real pas­sion in life: surf­ing –both chan­nel and web. Some­times I do both at once! So I live a pretty full existence.

Some­times on my quests, I unearth a jewel such as this pre­sen­ta­tion from Daniel Kah­ne­man, on our “expe­ri­enc­ing selves” and our “remem­ber­ing selves.” We expe­ri­ence hap­pi­ness, he explains, in the moment and also (often very dif­fer­ently) in our memory.

The two headed happiness-monster

Self-actualization is a process of rec­on­cil­ing these two selves: expe­ri­en­tial and remem­bered. They way this works is sim­i­lar to the les­son told by the ever-sagacious Jerry Seinfeld:

When it comes to Hap­pi­ness we’ve got the spon­ta­neous ‘Now Guy’ and story-teller ‘Then Guy’. Now Guy is your unso­phis­ti­cated, spon­ta­neous younger-self. He’s always got ideas about how to spend your life­sav­ings fly­ing to Vegas for a really wild week­end. But Mon­day morn­ing it’s Then Guy who has to explain the whole thing to your wife. A happy life requires the two to nego­ti­ate and agree.

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The Tim Commandments

February 24, 2010

Dis­claimer: I got the idea for this post from Gretchen Rubin’s per­sonal com­mand­ments –which she shares in her Hap­pi­ness Project. I learned so much doing my Life List that I fig­ured I have a go at this as well. (As for the title, I couldn’t resist.)

These ‘’com­mand­ments’’ are actu­ally just reminders to myself of the big real­iza­tions I’ve had about how to keep myself happy and mov­ing forward.

1) A clear target

Take time to con­sider what the ulti­mate sit­u­a­tion would be for me and the peo­ple I care about. I prob­a­bly do this 4 or 5 times a week and it’s actu­ally not an easy task. It IS easy to cop-out and say, “mega-rich on a trop­i­cal island,’’ but that’s not what I really want.

I try to clar­ify what my days will be like when I’ve finally arrived in my ideal sit­u­a­tion. I want to be able to read the news­pa­per, eat­ing fruit, in a sunny place. I want to have bril­liant friends who I spend a lot of time with. I want to learn a lot every day, as a part of my job. Plus about 50 other things. I think the clearer I can be about pre­cisely where I’d like to end up, the more likely I’ll get there.

2) Some­thing every day

I try to take at least a small step for­ward, toward my ulti­mate lifestyle, every day. I put some­thing on my To Do list every day that will pre­pare me for that sit­u­a­tion (I work on a lad­der), to make sure I’m mov­ing toward that target.

3) Appre­ci­ate it

Just like at Thanks­giv­ing, take a moment to think of some­thing you’re grate­ful for. It’ll remind you of how far you’ve come and that, while not every­thing is always per­fect, you’re life is mostly pretty good. As my mom used to say on cold win­ter nights, “be thank­ful that we have a nice warm place to live.” Or as Socrates said, “He is the rich­est who is con­tent with the least.”

4) Speak up

I’ve had to learn this les­son a few times in my life –that I need to share my ideas. I need to put my ideas into the world for a few rea­sons. First, it’s a way to real­ize what I know and to push my think­ing (to be con­struc­tive). It’s also a way to con­nect with peo­ple, to build com­mu­nity. The last time I real­ized this in a big way was my first trip to Aus­tralia. There peo­ple expect you to have a story to tell. I found I was so used to being a lis­tener that I didn’t know how to tell my stories.

5) Make it a good day

Even on good days, I try to think of one thing that could make the day a lit­tle bet­ter. If it’s stop­ping at the store and buy­ing some candy to eat, that’s okay. What­ever can make it a lit­tle hap­pier okay. Get­ting into my paja­mas early also makes me hap­pier. The point is that, for me, tak­ing each day as a project works.

6) Sleep on rice

This one comes from a story I heard of a poor immi­grant man who slept on rice (with his long­suf­fer­ing wife) in the back room. He did this for year so that he could save money. Even when he had saved enough to move into an apart­ment, he didn’t. He con­tin­ued to make sac­ri­fices until he could buy the store. I’m always inspired by sto­ries of peo­ple who have worked harder than they had to, so they could achieve uncom­mon ends.

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Caring Advice from Old People

December 18, 2009

Seth Men­achem is an LA direc­tor who, in his spare time, asks elderly strangers for advice. I grew up far away from my grand­par­ents and I’ve lived over­seas, away from my own par­ents, for a long time. Maybe this is why I love these clips from Life Advice from Old peo­ple.

These are two of my favourites:

:

Day-to-day I’m a very happy per­son, but I worry A LOT about mak­ing the right choices. I worry that I’m not spend­ing enough time with my fam­ily. That I don’t write enough. That I don’t spend enough time out­doors or take the time to cook bet­ter meals. That I don’t know where in life I should set­tle down. That I work too hard. I think the good life is about shar­ing mean­ing and enjoy­ment, so to me what Seth is doing seems right on the money.

Also, lis­ten­ing to these clips makes me feel like when I was a kid and my dad would sit me down at our creeky old din­ing room table and tell me some­thing impor­tant about life. It made me a stronger per­son. –well, every­thing except for that Birds and the Bees talk. That one con­fused me for years! ;-)

Related: Last time I saw my Nain (Nain is the Welsh word for grand­mother), she gave me some great advice.

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Nain’s Advice

June 6, 2009

Nain is the Welsh word for grand­mother. My nain Gwenda Thain was born on this day in 1922. In hon­our of her birth­day, I’d like to share some of the advice she’s given me this week:

  • Be hon­est with your­self and fol­low your convictions.
  • You’ve got to keep your own coun­cil. No one knows what I’m up to at any time.
  • When I have a con­fronta­tion I smile a lot.
  • Over time a rela­tion­ship becomes eas­ier. You grow kinder toward one another and make more allowances.
  • Col­lect garbage if that makes you happy; it doesn’t mat­ter what peo­ple think.
  • When­ever there is a prob­lem and peo­ple are inquir­ing you just smile and say, “I’m fine.” They don’t need to know.
  • Lis­ten care­fully to any­one who gives you advice. [Click to con­tinue the arti­cle, or to comment…]

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