Nain’s Advice - Gwenda Thain

The Welsh word for grandmother is Nain.

My Nain, Gwenda was the 3rd of 13 children. Born in 1922, the World War 2 kept her stuck at home longer than she wanted to, looking after 12 additional other children who'd been sent away from London during the bombings.

So, as soon as she could, she got away from small town Wales and and moved to the city. It was her time and she did what she wanted to do. She became a cool Londoner, wearing all of the latest fashions you might find in an Austin Powers movie. Then, again she picked up everything and moved to Canada, with her husband and her young daughter, my mom.

Later in her life she reinvented her life a third time, when my grandfather died. She married a fisherman and joined him, hauling in Chinook salmon in the frigid Pacific waters near Alaska. This was her life, jumping around, reinventing herself. 

She and I weren't super close until I got older, when she and my mom happened to come and visit me in London. I was having a hard time with my job, trying to prove myself in a role that wasn't a great fit. It was hard for me to see the forest for the trees. I just wanted to be as responsible as possible and prove myself, which I guess is pretty normal for people in their 20s. She gave me a lot of guidance and support that week. 

I was so keen for her advice, I wrote it all down. (This is a practice I've continued since then. I love collecting jewels like this.) 

Here's what she said:  

• Be honest with yourself and follow your convictions.
• You’ve got to keep your own council. No one knows what I’m up to at any time. 
• When I have a confrontation I smile a lot.
• Over time a relationship becomes easier. You grow kinder toward one another and make more allowances.
• Collect garbage if that makes you happy; it doesn’t matter what people think.
• Whenever there is a problem and people are inquiring you just smile and say, “I’m fine.” They don’t need to know.
• Listen carefully to anyone who gives you advice.
• You’ve got to face things straight on, or they’ll still be there like a cancer
• If they ask you if you can do it, say you can. In 1963, they asked us, “Can anyone use a comptometer?” I told them I knew how. They’ll always show you once anyway. Just watch closely.
• Education is the most important thing in life for anybody. With education you can conquer the world.
• Be strong for yourself. You haven’t walked 31 years of your life for nothing.
• You’ve got to love yourself. That is important.
• Don’t go second rate on anything.
• The last night I read this out loud to her, to make sure I had written everything down accurately. My mom listened in and then added at the end, “And don’t tell lies.” “Oh no,” her mom corrected her, “You’ve got to lie if it suits the world.”